Do you know?
by PurpleHiraikotsuRider
Summary: AU. He loved her enough to leave her, but did she love him enought to let him?


i don't own Inuyasha, and write these solely for my own amusement. :D

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"_Do you know how much I love you?" Sesshoumaru whispered softly in her ear as they lay in each other's arms._

"_How much?" Rin asked in the same tone, running her hands through his silky hair._

"_Enough to marry you."_

_Her eyes widened as he slipped a ring on her finger, kissed her forehead tenderly, and left for work without another word._

Rin wiped the tears off her cheeks as her memories flooded back to her, but they were only replaced by more. She would never forget. She _could _never forget.

"_Do you know how much I love you?" Sesshoumaru asked as they sat under the midnight, starry sky._

"_How much?"_

"_Enough to call you koibito, anata, kirei."_

Pulling her crossed legs closer to herself, she hugged her knees as she continued sobbing silently. The expensive silk of one of his shirts that he had left behind peeked out from under the desk in her room. Crawling over to it, she lifted it and held it to her face, crying into it, picking up what remained of his masculine scent. All she had left of him.

"_Do you know how much I love you?" Sesshoumaru asked as he dropped her home after one of their dates._

"_How much?"_

"_Enough to change my opinion of humans to think they are no different from youkai, just for you."_

"Anata…" Rin whimpered.

"_Do you know how much I love you?" Sesshoumaru asked quietly as the gang of youkai faced them._

"_How much?" she questioned fearfully as he stood in front of her, protecting her._

_He only glanced back at her with a half-smile. That beautiful youkai who never showed emotion loved her, smiled for her, laughed for her._

_He fought the gang of ookami. When they eventually ran off he collapsed on the street, blood pouring out from his many wounds. Panicking, Rin called an ambulance and within half an hour he was recovering on a hospital bed, fully treated. She stayed by his bedside all night, and when she woke in the morning she felt his hand brush against her cheek._

"_Anata… you nearly died…"_

_He only smiled at her again. "Enough to die for you."_

And then the last memory. The worst. The thing which had torn her life apart and stopped her getting sleep for two long, agonizing months.

"_Do you mind if I come in?" Sesshoumaru asked after their date._

"_Of course not, anata," Rin smiled at the handsome youkai. "You never have to ask."_

_He didn't smile back, only grimly going to sit on her sofa._

"_Anata, what is it?" she asked, concerned, as she sat beside him._

_Sesshoumaru took her hand before meeting her gaze. "Rin, I don't think there is an easy way to say this, so I will just speak plainly. I think we should break up."_

_She felt her insides freeze over and her heart dropped to her stomach._

_His expression looked pained. "I'm so sorry for putting you in this position," he whispered, looking at the floor again._

"_Sesshoumaru..?"_

"_You are human and I am not. I know how your co-workers have been treating you since we started to see each other, and it has gotten worse since…" he touched the band on her ring finger before slowly sliding it off. "Even your closest friends. You have lost everyone since we began to get close. I haven't any right to take away your life, and I am not selfish enough to do so."_

"_Sesshoumaru…" tears gathered in her eyes._

_Standing, he placed the engagement ring deep in his pocket and started toward the door. Rin sprang after him and caught his arm._

"_Sesshoumaru, you can't do this to me!" she cried. "I love you; you cannot imagine how much I want to be with you! I don't care about how anyone else treats me as long as I have you!"_

"_But I care!" he snapped, not turning around. "I could not live with myself knowing that I destroyed all your friendships just because I want you with me. Rin, I am so sorry. But I can't marry you and that is my decision."_

"_Sesshoumaru!" she sprang in front of him. "Do you know how much I love you?"_

_The question. The one which he had continually asked her for the two years they had been dating._

"_How much?" he asked softly._

"_Too much to let you just walk out of my life!" she burst out, wrapping her arms around him and sobbing in to his chest._

"_Rin…" he embraced her tightly, pressing his face into her soft brown hair. "Do you know how much _I _love you?"_

"_How m- m- much?" she stammered, now hiccupping from her excessive crying._

"_Enough to let you go."_

_And so her world fell apart._

The memory brought on a fresh onslaught of tears. He loved her more than she loved him. It must have killed him to break up with her, but it killed her as well. Why ruin two lives just for the sake of her friendships?

Another terrible occasion which had happened just that morning. It was not as bad as the breakup, but it was close.

She had met him when out grocery shopping. And he had spoken to her.

"_Hello, Rin."_

_She spun around to look into his perfect amber eyes. "S- Sesshoumaru…"_

_He stood tall, as if he was in complete control of himself. "How are you?"_

_She could only stare at him. "I… have been a lot better," she stammered. At least it was honest. "How are you?"_

"_The same." As if she had said "fine"._

_They stood in silence for a few moments, looking at each other awkwardly._

"_It's been a while since we saw each other, hasn't it?" Rin asked nervously._

"_Yes," he stated._

"_How has work been?"_

"_Fine. And you?"_

"_Not that good."_

_Some softness entered his hard eyes. "How so?"_

"_Well… I've been slacking a lot and my boss is thinking about letting me go if I don't get my act together."_

_Another silence. "I'm sorry."_

_She felt her tears welling up. "It's not your fault. It's mine for not being mature enough to handle a breakup. I mean, what's the big deal, right? I'll probably meet someone else soon enough, and maybe then I'll finally get over you." And she stalked off before he could reply._

Who had she been kidding? She was never going to get over him. And thanks to her big mouth, he probably hated her.

"You look a mess, girl," a gentle voice came from the door. One of her best friends, Kagome, stood there.

"I saw Sesshoumaru when I was out shopping earlier," Rin explained simply.

"Oh," she said. "Rin, I came here to apologize for not being supportive of you during your relationship with him."

"What?" she looked up.

"I've started dating his half-brother. I know I have no right to expect you to just forgive me when I'm being so hypocritical, but I still have to say I'm sorry." She turned to go.

"Kagome…"

She stopped and looked back.

"Of course I forgive you. I'm glad you finally understand that it doesn't matter whether or not people are human or youkai, as long as we accept them for who they are, right?"

Kagome looked confused, then a wide smile spread over her features. "Right!"

Rin tried to smile back, but it wouldn't reach her face.

"Come on, let's go do something," her friend suggested. "It's been so long since we had fun, and you need it badly."

"But – "

"I'm not letting you say no! Rin, it's been two months since _Kouri no Ouji_ broke up with you! You need to get a life!"

"I had a life in the first place! He took it away from me!"

Kagome went over to the closet and pulled out some nice clothes. "Here, change into these. Then I'll help you with your makeup and we'll go do something fun, 'kay?"

In half an hour they were going through the mall looking at dresses.

"Kagome, I really don't feel in the mood for this right now."

"You'll be fine. Look, here's a café. Some coffee will probably make you feel better."

Rin willingly accepted the hot beverage, but it did nothing to her mood. As they continued their trek, she bumped in to someone.

"Sorry, I wasn't looking where – " she broke off when she saw Sesshoumaru's eyes staring at her.

"I'll forgive you since it's you," he said softly, walking off down the street.

She stared after him.

"Well?" Kagome tapped her foot impatiently. "Go after him!"

Rin needed no other order. She ran through the crowd, running towards that beautiful white youkai who had stolen her heart and not given it back when he ended their interaction.

"_Sesshoumaru!_"

The swarms of people held her back, stopping her from reaching him. But they couldn't stop her voice, or his excellent hearing. He turned back to look at her.

"Do you know how much I love you?"

At first she thought he wasn't going to answer. Battling her way up to him, she repeated, "Do you know how much I love you?"

"How much?" he whispered.

"Enough to give up everyone else in my life just so I can be near you."

He didn't move. She reached up and traced the magenta stripes on his cheeks as she continued. "And I won't let you ruin my life just because of how people treat me. They still don't talk to me a lot because of my association with you, so it's too late to turn back. And now that I'm with you, I won't ever let you go."

She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.

"Now give me that ring back," she added just for emphasis.

Suddenly she was caught in his tight embrace as he buried his head in her neck. "Rin, Rin, Rin… I can't do this to you. It will only get worse if I marry you."

"Didn't you hear me? I couldn't care _less _how people treat me as long as I have you."

Sesshoumaru pulled his head back and held her face in his hands as he looked at her. His eyes shone with wetness… _Sesshoumaru was crying!!!_

"Do you know how much I love you?"

"How much?" Rin didn't dare looked away from him.

"More than anything in the whole world."

He leaned down to kiss her.

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Let me know what you think! Seriously, please review. Reviews are good. I like them a lot. :D


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